Ryan, i thought things would slowly get easier or hurt slightly less but when i remember the life we shared and the memories we made, it still brings me to tears. I know it shouldn’t as they were happy memories with maybe the occasional visit to A&E, but we had a good life. Having these thoughts in my head is just a reminder of what made up a huge part your life. I just don’t know how long you’re supposed to feel like this or if the emptiness will ever go but one thing for sure is, i will always have two brothers, its always been that way, so why should it change and if it was possible to reset and start over i certainly would, id be up for teaching you once again how to climb into our toy boxes.


I miss you so much.


Your big brother, Connor x